


Contacts

by Zaphrina



Series: Humans Are Space Orcs [2]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Percy Jackson Fusion, Alternate Universe - Star Trek Fusion, Contacts, Humans Are Weird, Humans are space orcs, M/M, space ship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:15:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27442525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zaphrina/pseuds/Zaphrina
Summary: Based on the "Humans are Space Orcs" prompt on contacts.
Relationships: Nico di Angelo/Percy Jackson
Series: Humans Are Space Orcs [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2004796
Comments: 5
Kudos: 94
Collections: Humans Are Space Orcs





	Contacts

Prompt:

Contacts:

“Okay, crew,” Chief of Operations Annabeth Chase, a proud Minervan, held the attention of her group as she searched all of their eyes with her own piercing silver ones. “Our new First Officer, you’ve all met him. Peseus Jackson. I know at least two of you are friends with him, and Chief Science Officer DiAngelo is in an involved romantic relationship with him. I need the three of you to give us a run down on humanology so we can welcome our first and only human crew member appropriately and treat him well. My knowledge of humans is limited, but he’s not from the colonies in the Milky Way Galaxy, he’s from actual Terra,” she squeezed her face up in a common Minervan expression of distaste. “My knowledge of Terra is limited to this, which I will share with you now: Terra is a Class 2 Death Planet, humans are apex predators and the dominant species. They are reigned by the chemical imbalances in their brains and can be erratic in behavior because of it. However, despite these things, I have been advised to get a human on our team. So, Valdez, Underwood, DiAngelo: speak.” She leaned back, metallix skin glinting in the energy efficient lighting.

“First off, uh, humans are about a 2.2 on a food chain that goes to a level 5, so I wouldn’t call Percy an apex predator,” Grover Underwood, a satyr from outside the Milky Way Galaxy shuffled his hooved feet. “He’s actually a vegetarian-”

“What’s a vegetarian,” Annabeth cut in, narrowing her eyes.

“Um, well, most humans are omnivores and can eat both plant matter and animal flesh. But, because of personal choices, Percy only eats plant matter,” Grover explained. 

“Humans can eat plant  _ and _ animal matter?” Clarisse grunted.

“Their teeth and digestive systems have adapted to both, yes. But, again, Percy only eats plant matter, so not a scary apex predator. Plus, most humans don’t hunt anymore.”

“We’re getting off track,” Annabeth groaned. “But good to know about plant matter. Valdez, go.”

“Percy is awesome. We lived together in the academy. He is from New York City, where there are no true predators and also no real natural places, so he will adjust just fine to being on a ship for an extended period of time, but he does love his plants and having and caring for houseplants is statistically good for humans. Percy gives his names. So, we should make sure he has a leafy plant or a flower or something,” Leo added, and when DiAngelo nodded in agreement, Annabeth noted down to bring some Terran plants on board. “Also some humans have physical needs,” Leo tilted his head in confusion as he tried to explain it. “Percy uses exercise as a way to exorcise his mental demons, if you will.”

“Mental demons, is he ill? Possessed?” Annabeth cut in.

“No, but it’s how you said. They’re ruled by emotion. If we don’t have a therapist on board, he’ll need to exercise and train and use physical activity as an outlet. I suggest a training regimen with the tactical team,” Grover nodded to Clarisse, their Chief Tactical Officer.

“That can be arranged,” the Martian nodded in agreement. 

“DiAngelo, anything to add?” Annabeth turned to their resident Plutonian, who shrugged his shoulders, his large black wings moving in sync with his gesture.

“If anything comes up, I’ll let you know. But if any of you make him feel uncomfortable I’ll make you regret it,” he raised a single eyebrow. His boyfriend was a big tough guy, but he was also a big softy who would pack-bond with a Roomba if he came across it.

“That’s not helpful. But thanks,” Annabeth clenched her hands. 

“Oh, one thing,” Nico raised a finger. “Don’t mention that he’s from a Death Planet. Terrans don’t know they’re on a Death Planet. And it will freak him out. Don’t let him know.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Will Solace, their Chief Medical Officer squawked. “He doesn’t know he’s from a Class 2 Death Planet?”

“You don’t know you’re adaptable until you meet people who aren’t. And you don’t know you’re on a death planet until you leave it. He’ll figure it out, but don’t bring it up right away. Humans get flooded with negative hormones when their worldview is altered until they come to terms with it, and it would negatively affect his physiology and performance to be shocked like that,” Nico elaborated. 

“Okay…” Annabeth sighed. “We’ll meet him tomorrow. I will see you all then and you better be on your most professional behavior.”

Nico smirked. It would surely be interesting. Everyone had preconceived notions and prejudices about humans and while Percy was a big and tough human who could kick your ass with one hand tied behind his back, he would also do anything for those he cared about and was a huge dork. And he  _ definitely knew he was on a death planet. _

So, when Percy arrived, and Nico had decorated his room with houseplants and blue blankets and decor, he was overjoyed. He would miss his Golden Pothos (lovingly named Billingsly), and his Snake Plant (William Snakespeare), and he was glad to still have plants in his life. Nico had even gotten him a plant light so they would stay alive!

He was glad to see Leo again, and Grover was his best bud so that was cool. He also got to meet Grover’s long time girlfriend Juniper, who was also a herbivore and lived solely on plant matter. The pilot, Jason Grace, was a Jovian who Percy had already formed a bro bond with, and he had taught Jason all about handshakes and high fives. He’d met Will Solace, the only person other than Nico who actually knew about human physiology. He did have to explain to Will that he had ADHD and dyslexia, so the CMO had decided to get some more Terran books on those to more adequately treat his patients. It was nice. Clarisse was a hard ass but Percy loved training with her. She taught him about more weapons than they even had at the Academy, and taught him hand to hand in various different styles.

Annabeth was confusing. Percy was convinced she didn’t like him, but he could also tell she was trying very hard not to offend him. 

Probably because everyone was terrified of humans. Earth was the Australia of space after all. So, he knew that him smiling all the time was taken as a sign of aggression, like animals baring their teeth. He knew the laughter he so often emitted freaked others out because it was a non-translatable noise that nobody understood. 

Percy knew they were trying, but they just didn’t know or care to know enough about Earth to understand him.

So, that’s how he ended up using plain water as a contact solution because he ran out of saline eight days ago. It’s not like he could ask Will if he could use medical grade saline for something so silly. So Percy sat in his commander chair and rubbed roughly at his eyes as they itched and fluttered.

“Commander Jackson, are you well?” Annabeth called from her position nearby, though it was loud enough for others to turn. He pulled his fists away from his reddened eyes and irritated skin. 

“Oh, yeah. But my contacts have been bothering me. I ran out of solution and have been using plain old water to clean and store them in,” Percy sighed and rubbed his fingers under his eyes to readjust them.

“Contacts?” Annabeth asked, confused.

“Yeah, hold on,” Percy pulled his contacts case out of his satchel and, in an agonizingly amusing moment, he pulled his lower lid down and used his fingers to pull the contacts out and put them into the case. He heard the gasps around him and retching noises, but couldn’t see the horrified faces until he put his glasses on.

“Holy Father Pelor,” Nyssa, another Vulcan like Leo, gulped. “Did he just… remove a piece of his eyes?”

Percy pretended to be surprised, because this was just another thing to add to the “Death Planet” list: Humans can remove pieces of their visual organs when they become irritated. He loved messing with them.

“Percy, I thought I told you not to remove those in front of anyone,” Nico joined in, rolling his eyes in a very Terran gesture. 

“They were bothering me, you know when they get itchy and dry it’s just easier to take them out.”

“So what are the glass and metal contraptions you wear now?” Nyssa asked against her better judgement.

“When I remove the contacts, I lose my ability to see clearly and I need glass lenses to alter my vision enough to function,” Percy explained. 

“So, you removed an imperative part of your eye, and then you couldn’t see, so you made a prism that reflects light in such a way that it imitates the top layer of your eye?” Annabeth questioned.

“Essentially, yes.” He was hesitant to tell them that contacts were not a part of him, and were in fact, a foreign object, How would they react to the fact that he was actually terribly nearsighted and had to physically put pieces of flexible plastic in his eye orifices to see?

“Fascinating,” she nodded, as if agreeing with the new information. “Disgusting, but fascinating.”


End file.
